How to Dial in Discomfort in Order to Grow

😖 Growth is uncomfortable

If you want to get better at something, it’s going to be uncomfortable.

Why?

Because growth and comfort can’t co-exist.

When you think of something you feel comfortable with, what are you really saying?

You’re saying that you’re content with it. That your present skills or state is something that feels safe and secure.

But what if you want to get better at something?

That means that there’s a pain point there - a disconnect between where you’re at now and where you want to be.

And to bridge that gap, you’ve got to accept the discomfort that’ll come with it.

But that’s exactly where most people get tripped up.

But because growth is uncomfortable, we tend to AVOID the things that could help us.

I can think of tons of example like this in my personal life…

• 🎧 If I was listening to music that intimidated me, I’d shut it off
• 🗓️ I’d cancel meet-ups last minute because I didn’t want to feel awkward socializing
• ❤️ I hated the feeling of a racing heart, so I avoided cardio

But where does this comfort-seeking default lead us?

Yup - nowhere.

Or at least nowhere new.

So to grow, we’ve got to ACTIVELY seek out that discomfort.

But what is the discomfort we’re feeling, exactly?

🧘 Become a beginner

Recognizing how inexperienced we are at something leads to some pretty painful emotions.

No one likes feeling incompetent, weak, or helpless.

So we often try to hide our blind spots - not just from others, but from ourselves.

(A good example for me is exercise - I’m sharing that more publicly because it’s always been a personal weakness.)

But there’s a way to approach your inexperience with excitement and curiosity.

Check out content creator JasmineStar’s take:

“Working out will make you FEEL weak, but it’s actually making you stronger. Learning new things will make you FEEL dumb, when it’s actually making you smarter. Investing in yourself will make you FEEL poor, but it’s actually making you rich. Staying consistent will make you FEEL stagnant, when it’s actually helping you grow.”

See the catch?

Relying on our feelings as a metric for our success won’t work.

Instead, we’ve got trust that we’ll get better in time.

Embracing a “beginner’s mind” means opening ourselves up to learning new things - without judgment or shame.

That said…

You don’t have to push ALL the way out of your comfort zone to see growth.

And pushing too far might actually be counterproductive.

🌡️ How to dial in discomfort

My therapist Jason from Dr. K’s HealthyGamerCoach program showed me a chart on discomfort which I absolutely love:

Check out the adjectives for each zone - comfort, growth, and stress - and determine where you’re at right now for a particular focus in your life.

Feeling lifeless, stable, or low-risk? 😪

You’re probably in your comfort zone.

Not a bad place to be, but it might be worth pushing into the growth zone.

Feeling stressed, fed-up, or exhausted? 😰

You’re probably in your stress zone.

That means BEFORE you try to grow, you’ve got to get back to your baseline of comfort.

Explore how you can make things feel more stable and secure before pushing yourself to grow.

Either way…

This is an excellent exercise to figure out where you’re at now, and what needs to change for you to find a healthy balance between growth and discomfort.